I don’t collect blue ribbons because I’m not a competitive rider. While I attended a handful of schooling shows in my teens, showing never had an appeal for me.
I’ve always been an animal lover and I fell in love with horses long before I fell in love with riding. Growing up I wanted nothing more than to braid manes and pick hooves. Mucking stalls had just as much appeal as grooming horses. As long as I could be at the barn, I was happy. For me, just being around horses was enough.
Unfortunately I come from a ‘non-horsey’ family and horses are an expensive hobby. This never stopped me – my parents were encouraging and would drive me to the barn every weekend and every day after school so I could volunteer and eventually ride. I took lessons on and off for years and when I was sixteen I was lucky enough to have my very own horse. Samurai wasn’t the tall warmblood of my dreams, but he was exactly what I needed. He was, and still is, spoiled rotten. We’ve had fun adventures and amazing rides and we’ve made so many memories, but very few of them were in a show ring.
Riding is a hobby for me and I worked and boarded at smaller barns where they taught mostly beginner lessons. Not many people showed and going to any show or clinic was a big event. It wasn’t until I started college that I met a serious competitor. I studied animal science in school and my college had its own riding team. Many of my classmates were also equestrians from all walks of life, and some showed every weekend during the show season, even traveling across the country. It was intimidating. There I was, somewhat of a self-taught rider with my beautiful Thoroughbred, putzing around the arena while other riders were jumping 4’ and prepping for shows.
In some ways it was motivating, and I was encouraged to take lessons again and challenge myself more. In other ways I always felt inferior, as if my leisure riding was worth less than that of a “real” rider. I found it hard to connect with and make friends with the other student boarders, and was even embarrassed to ride as part of the group.
While in college I eventually left the school’s barn and moved to a beautiful barn in neighboring town. It was a good mix of students, competitors, and leisure riders. For me it was paradise, I had people, soon to be friends, I could ride with and who motivated me to ride more. I had a trainer to lesson with and improve, and the option to attend a clinic if I wanted to, but no pressure.
Since graduating college Samurai and I have been a few different barns, some large, some small, some filled with competitors. I never felt as if I fit in at the larger barns, it wasn’t as if the other boards were unfriendly, they almost always were and like me they loved their horses very much, but our priorities when it came to riding were just different.
Eventually I became friendly with another named Dianna. She had ridden in her teens, but life got in the way and for almost a decade she was horse-less. She decided that she wanted to ride again, bought herself a horse, and got back in the saddle! Dianna didn’t care about blue ribbons, her riding is all about her and horse and the enjoyment she has. She is always learning and trying new things and watching Dianna who was just was devoted to her horse as was, as any of the competitors, but who was not competitive helped me see that it was okay not to show.
Riding doesn’t have to have a purpose, it doesn’t have to have a goal. Riding is a sport, but it’s also fun! It’s good for us mentally, physically, and emotionally. I wasted so much time feeling like my way of enjoying the sport was wrong and that was wrong. But now I know that as long as you’re in the saddle, there is no wrong way to ride!
Thank you for putting this out there. I’m currently trying to figure out how to have horses in my life while balancing family priorities and finances. So much of what I read seems geared towards people who are showing/eventing at some level. It’s nice to read something that reminds me I don’t have to work towards a competitive goal but instead can just enjoy my weekly ride.
This is exactly how I feel….I am around a lot of people that believe your riding skill is judged by the number of ribbons you have. All I have wanted to do is RIDE! and Ride well, so as not to hurt my horse and improve. I rode briefly during middle school-early high school and then didn’t get back in the saddle for lessons until after I turned 40. I do not have a competitive spirit. I just love horses, like you. I have found a smaller barn that allows all types of riding, so it is not a “dressage barn” or a “hunter/jumper barn”. It is HOME! My current barn is managed by a wonderful lady that has painstakingly removed the “negative” and created a warm, inviting family friendly atmosphere. We have riders of all ages, and levels. We even have National Winners but they check their “egos” at the door. It took me 3 moves to find this place, but it really does make a difference to your riding to be in the best barn for you and your horse. The quality of care for my horse is exceptional.
I think I AM that Dianna 🙂 I am so happy that Stoli and I found each other and to hear that we help someone feel better makes that special bond we have even sweeter!! I don’t ride for ribbons anymore, no interest. I ride because it is good for my soul. To see where Stoli and I started and where we are today is reward enough for me! It is about building a relationship of trust, love, confidence, patience, and most of all enjoyment for me. He IS my therapist!
Thank you for this article. It is nice to know there are others out there who don’t want to get into the show ring. I just enjoy being around horses and riding the horse I sponsor. He is a Therapy horse and loves his job with his students. Thunder and I enjoy each others company and when we saddle up for some schooling or hacking, he knows we are going to have fun out there, either on the trail or in the ring.
Kaitlin-I loved reading your story and I share your passion for horses. I had two horses when I was in my mid-twenties to mid-thirties, but had to give them up when I became a single mom and was responsible for raising my daughter. I’m 67 now and a cancer survivor. Four years ago I decided to get another horse…kind of a bucket list thing. He’s a very spoiled and opinionated 21 year old Arabian gelding. I love him to pieces but the whole point of having him is to develop the relationship between us. It was rocky at first, but as we’ve come to know each other, we’ve become real partners. I do feel he takes care of me. We don’t do shows, although before I got him, he was a show horse. I take lessons from a young lady at the barn where I board him, primarily to become better at communicating with him while I am riding, but showing is the last thing I want to do. I have made many dear friends at this barn…horse people are the most amazing people…and if I should die before him, he has a perfect home for the rest of his life. Enjoy your horse no matter what you do together. The bond between horse and human is a beautiful mystery that does not need to be explained or qualified.
This was really nice. You are a true horse person. I ride dressage and while I do enjoy showing, I’ll never be ‘in the ribbons’ with my quarter horse. And that’s ok because he is the love of my life and I’m thankful for every day I have with him. For me, shows are a weekend hobby and are more about spending an entire weekend camping with my horse, sharing banana oatmeal cookies, and making memories than winning.